DMing the Bible: the beginning

Apologia:
As the series title has indubitably raised anxiety in a few of you let me first of all spend some time talking about Role Play (in particular D&D), religion, and civility. As my user profile notes I am both a minister of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) and an enthusiast of role playing games (btw the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) is a denomination of withing the wider religion of Christianity Check this out for more info). I see no inherent contradiction between the two in much the same way Christian Cubs fans see no basic conflict in their love of God and their enjoyment of Wrigley Field and baseball.
This section is called Apologia because I want to give an explanation I hope will persuade those who are uncertain. Though wittier people than I have placed fingers to keyboard as apologists of role playing to the Christian community, I would like to throw in my two cents. As a Christian I believe that in the person of Jesus, God redeems the world. Reconciling all things through the power of God's amazing love. This activity of reconciliation and redemption is lived out on both the individual and the cosmic scale. On the individual scale God calls people away from broken lives and into new a life and an experience of unparalleled wholeness. Nothing in the experience of a healthy role-playing group damages a person's ability to live such a wholly holy life.
Children, listen to me; if you take part in a group where you do not feel you are safe to be the person you are called to be, if you find yourself in the midst of a group of people who will not accept you as a unique and lovely Child of God-- I don't care where you met these people: at church, at role-playing, at school --get away from them post-haste. People like that are not pursuing a hobby, worshiping God, or attending to their studies they are being abusive. Call it what it is and find yourself a new group with whom to hang.

Methodology:
Here on out I will be looking at Biblical texts with the eyes of a Biblical Scholar and as a Dungeon Master. I will select these texts at whim. I have in mind to talk some about character classes of all types, alignments, play techniques, campaign settings, plot devices, and combat mechanics (oh it's in there, and I won't even have to stretch). Biblical Quotes will come from the New Revised Standard Version, and role playing materials will come mostly from core rulebooks of Dungeons and Dragons version 3.5. You may find it handy to have access to these materials.